Now the quick witted among you might respond that you can clean your ears with a small caliber pistol too, but why? The answer to this question is amazingly complex (no not the pistol question). There are a wide range of reasons to shower in your Rialta and of course we’ll list but a few. You might be dirty and there is no handy shower available. You might not want to traipse up to the campground shower is another logical reason. While this column was written specifically for the Rialta I suspect it will ring true with the owner of any small RV.
Then there are the deeper reasons to shower in your Rialta or any really small RV. Showering in your Rialta gives you a sense of accomplishment, not like scaling Mount Everest but nevertheless a positive feeling of success. It also demonstrates your ability to utilize every feature advertised about the Rialta. We all like to get our money’s worth.
Now I’m well aware that some among you have avoided the Rialta’s shower with the same dogged determination that has kept you away from mud wrestling and mountain climbing, but we are here to conquer your fears. With just a hint of sarcasm and an effort at wit we will provide you with a guide to the intricacies of Rialta showering.
To fully appreciate a Rialta shower you must first make certain that you have water and that it is hot. The first part of this equation is complete if you are hooked up to city water or you have filled your tanks. When boondocking it is necessary to start the generator and turn on the hot water heater. I normally do this first thing in the morning before returning to bed for a few minutes of additional rest.
If you are connected to electricity just flip on the hot water heater. Once the water is hot (check it in the kitchen sink) you are ready to proceed. Usually I turn off the hot water heater at this point and stop the generator. Take the removable carpeted floor section from in front of the shower and place it out of the way, preferably where neither you nor your traveling companion will trip on it. Now pull the shower walls out.
A towel and fresh undies should be placed on the chair immediately outside of the shower. Assuming you are undressed enter the shower, if not please take appropriate action at this point. If it is not too cold outside open the vent and put the fan on low.
Let down the shelf and sink and adjust the water temperature. This works a lot better if the water is turned off at the shower head. Once the temperature is adjusted, return the sink and shelf to their upright and locked positions.
Close the shower curtain carefully, making certain they are closed all the way to the bottom. The more careful among you might remove the expensive toilet paper just in case. Remove your liquid soap from behind the mirrors and place it atop the potty. Turn on the drain pump.
Pointing the shower head away from you, turn on the water. As soon as it reaches an acceptable temperature wet your entire body. During this portion of the Rialta shower I must leave some of the details entirely up to your own preferences. I’ve found that you can wash a good bit, though not all, of your dirt off while sitting on top of the potty.
After a good wetting down use your liquid soap as you prefer. Then, turn the shower back on for a good, long rinse. About here you will be feeling proud of your efforts and almost ready to tell your traveling companion how great you feel, but we still have a little way to go.
Return your soap. Let down the shelf and sink. Turn off the water. Return shelf and sink to their upright positions if you are not intending to use the sink further. Open the shower door, grab your towel and, well I’m guessing you know this part. Once you are mostly dry step outside and put on those clean undies. At some point during your drying process you might determine that the need for the drain pump is concluded and turn it off.
Take your slightly damp towel and dry as much of the inside of the shower as you can, including the shower curtains. Push the bathroom walls back and finish drying the floor of the shower before replacing the cover. If, as I sometimes do, you have taken a rather long shower, you will likely want to dump the appropriate water tank. Please understand that this is just the basic course. A seven lesson syllabus that will cover such potential problems as too much moisture in the Rialta after showers; preventing drain clogs for those shedding hair and other common Rialta shower errors is currently being prepared. I know all of you will gladly pay the rather steep tuition for such detailed information on life in a Rialta. Until then, throw caution to the wind and take a Rialta shower; PLEASE!
A recent e-mail has made some additions to these instructions a must. If you are not hooked up to city water then it is necessary to turn the water pump on. However, the most important reason I’m making additions is that someone sent me an e-mail about taking a shower while on the move. This is not a good idea. Step one in taking a Rialta shower should be to STOP THE RIALTA. Thank you. I mean really, if you had an accident what would your mother think. Can’t you see the news? “Mrs. Jones explained she was taking a shower when the wreck occurred. She’s the naked woman with a towel wrapped around her head.”